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Super Bowl Sunday 2013 - San Francisco Watches & Celebrates

Go to a theater. Don't be a knucklehead.

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Where Will You Be on Sunday at 3?

On Sunday, February 3, 2013, by 3:30 pm, 99 percent of San Francisco will be parked in front of televisions or other screens in bars and friends' living rooms. (The 1 percent will be enjoying the peace and quiet that comes with every Super Bowl Sunday and the rare, bonus calm that comes with the San Francisco 49ers playing in the championship football game).

If you are of the 99 percent ilk and have not yet found an appropriate screen to stare at, there are a couple of huge ones you can take advantage of. And they are bigger than even your ex-friend's (ex-, because the bloke hasn't invited you over this year, for reasons you don't know):

  • Super Bowl XLVII at the Balboa
    February 3, at 3 pm
    Balboa Theatre, 3630 Balboa St., San Francisco 94121

    Watch the game on the movie screen. Admission is free.

  • Super Bowl XLVII: Men in Tights
    February 3, at 3 pm
    Roxie Theater, 3117 16th St., San Francisco 94103

    This is a big-screen broadcast with a twist: The Sports Sweater Commentators will hurl live play-by-play about the men in tights heaving and crashing on the field in New Orleans, which they promise will be "unenlightening, hilarious and probably inaccurate." Expect snark aimed at the 49ers and the Baltimore Ravens alike. The only part of the broadcast they won't touch is the ads (and maybe Beyonce during half-time). The experts (with their job titles) include: David Cairns, Master Watcher of Television; OJ Patterson, Self-Distinguished Sports Expert; David Gborie, 17th Incarnation of Buddha & Softball Coach; EDW Lynch, English Athletics Commentator; and Spencer Bainbridge, Possible White-Collar Criminal.

    The screening is free, but donations are appreciated and benefit the nonprofit arts organizations SF IndieFest and the Roxie Theater.

After the Super Bowl

The partying begins (especially since the 49ers are predicted to win), right?

Not if city officials can help it. After the Giants won the World Series last October, fans hit the streets, setting bonfires in the Mission district, overturning cars, and smashing the windows of and torching a Muni bus in the Financial District. About three dozen people ("knuckleheads," as San Francisco mayor Ed Lee dubbed them) were arrested. On January 20, after the 49ers secured their Super Bowl seat by winning over the Atlanta Falcons, a dozen people were arrested or cited in the Mission District, most of them for public drunkenness.

So Mayor Lee has announced that the city is cracking down on football fan mayhem related to the Super Bowl. More than 400 police officers will be on duty that day, three times the number on a usual Sunday. They'll be patrolling crowds, clubs and bars.

Before the game, the city plans to pick up garbage from dumpsters (so as to discourage fires) and to close streets. Lee has said that he and the police chief will walk the Mission and other neighborhoods to "reassure the small business owners, merchants and residents that we're going to do everything possible to keep our city safe." The mayor has also suggested that bars "serve something (other) than heavy alcohol," which has elicited understandably mixed responses from bar owners.

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