Among the safest spots in town (ours or any town) are, naturally, wherever cops hang out. Like police stations. And Starbucks (which have replaced the secure donut shops of three decades ago).

A few nights ago, I happened upon one of the Starbucks police powwows: No less than 10 officers, each armed with a to-go cup, forming an oval on the sidewalk under the green glow of the Starbucks sign. A sixth squad car pulled up nearby; two more cops hopped out to join in.

You're safe if you follow the Trauma crew, too. The crash-bang action series recently staged a messy car accident with City Hall as a backdrop. SFPD cars and officers kept bystanders away from a traumatized green Accord (in which an actress spent a lot of time waiting for some action) and an overturned black Toyota truck.

That whole scene was encircled by a bona fide SF police team--which answered the frequent "Is this real?" question and ensured that real gawkers kept a distance.

The year-end holidays are supposed to be the happiest time of the year, but you know better. There are traditions to follow, obligations to fulfill, relationship rifts to be mended (or glossed over), too much shopping to be done, resolutions to make--and through all of this, you're to be merry and jolly.

That's why Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?, presented by Actors Theatre of San Francisco, could be perfect holiday fare--for realists. In the Edward Albee play, the marriage of George, a middle-aged, has-been history professor and Martha, the college president's daughter, consists of verbal sparring and stabbing. They make "dysfunctional" seem normal. A young, new professor and his ditzy wife who come over for a nightcap are quickly snagged in the tornado, and no one emerges nobly or victorious.

Actors Christian Phillips as George and Rachel Klyce as Martha are particularly (and scarily) good. I'd not read or seen the play before, and at the first of two intermissions, I was a bit tired from the on-stage assaults. But the characters were vivid and intriguing enough that I stayed for the rest of the three-hour Actors Theatre production.

The Spartan, 10-row theater intensifies the performance. Family reunion conflicts or personal angst you experience beyond the theater will seem a breeze.

Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
Thursday-Saturday, Dec. 17-19, at 8 p.m.
Actors Theatre of San Francisco
855 Bush St., San Francisco
Tickets: $26-38. Visit Actors Theatre online or call 415 345-1287.

Related info:
• Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf? synopsis and character analyses by About.com's guide to plays, Wade Bradford.
• More about playwright Edward Albee.
• A Paris Review interview with Edward Albee, in which he discusses Who's Afraid of Virginia Woolf?

When I come across something said in or about SF that is striking or intriguing and makes me chuckle or wonder, I feel a I-love-living-here! zing.

For instance, just a few nights ago:

The scene: The produce section of an upscale grocery store, San Francisco.
Who: Two male grocery workers. (And me nearby, considering the oranges).

Guy 1: Should I look into it?

Guy 2: Well, I saw her fall down, twice.

Guy 1: Before I talk to her, I gotta get my emotions in check.

Guy 2: She's a nice girl, though.

Leave it to San Francisco--specifically, the San Francisco Lesbian/Gay Freedom Band--to democratize, popularize and energize The Nutcracker.

The classic Christmas ballet, which premiered in Russia in 1892, gets a complete and campy makeover in the hands of the band: It becomes an audience-dance-along spectacle, and this year the tale is set in the Wild West (instead of the original Germany).

The Blazing Nutcrackers performances this weekend will include ballet, line dancing, cavorting sheep, twirling buckaroos, a dance-off between the forces of good and evil, and Tchaikovsky's score mixed with Western twangs. But the most riotous and surreal parts will come when a "Dance Along" sign cues the un-choreographed, un-rehearsed crowd to boogie in the aisles.

You're invited to come in cowboy duds. And you can rent tutus and bling-accessories on site.

Gee, sing-along Messiahs suddenly seem so dull.

Blazing Nutcrackers
When: Saturday, Dec. 12, at 2:30 p.m., and Sunday, Dec. 13, at 11 a.m. & 3 p.m.
Holiday Gala Performance on Dec. 12 at 7 p.m., with pre-show cocktail reception and music by City Swing Big Band.
Where: Yerba Buena Center for the Arts Forum, 701 Mission Street (at 3rd), San Francisco.
Tickets: General admission $25; seniors and children age 12 and under, $16. Holiday Gala Performance $50. Purchase tickets online or by calling Yerba Buena's box office, (415) 978-2787.